Amy Poehler

[a metaphor for the end of her marriage] The process of divorce is about loading a blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.

I just love bossy women. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It mans somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.

You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look.

[on her mother] she’s a very smart, independent woman who was kind of coming into her own in the feminist movement of the 70s and 80s

Great people do things before they’re ready.

You know, as a comedian your body has to be – I need to think of a better term than ‘up for grabs’ – but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if you’re worrying about how you look… Vanity is the death of comedy.

I share no man’s opinions; I have my own.

If your neighbor has a completely different view on abortion, gay marriage, stem cell research, all of those things, you still are both Americans. Neither one of you is necessarily more patriotic than the other. Neither loves their country any more than the other one does.

I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.

Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.

Sometimes I think someone upstairs saved me from being ordinary.

I don’t believe in geniuses, I believe in hard work.

I don’t like when there’s too much conversation because I’m shy and it makes me uncomfortable.

For to tempt and to be tempted are things very nearly allied – whenever feeling has anything to do in the matter, no sooner is it excited than we have already gone vastly farther than we are aware of.

A man can seldom – very, very, seldom – fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.

My view is, first you get them to laugh, then you get them to listen. So I’m always game for a good joke, and I’m not so formal in this role. There’s very little that we can’t do that people wouldn’t appreciate.

It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.

Nothing is more difficult, in my opinion, than to avoid something that fundamentally attracts you.

I’ve been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn’t require my presence.

The people change, the common denominator is you.

Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would be surprised to find how far off they are, for they do not look it. When they first showed last night I tried to knock some down with a pole, but it didn’t reach, which astonished me. Then I tried clods till I was all tired out, but I never got one. I did make some close shots, for I saw the black blot of the clod sail right into thee midst of the golden clusters forty or fifty times, just barely missing them, and if I could’ve held out a little longer, maybe I could’ve got one.