A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes superannuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures.
Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
An index is a great leveller.
Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
In the arts of life man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery all the slaughter of plague, pestilence, and famine.
We sing in a church, why can we not dance there?
In your Salvation shelter I saw poverty, misery, cold and hunger. You gave them bread and treacle and dreams of heaven. I give from thirty shillings a week to twelve thousand a year. They find their own dreams; but I look after the drainage.
You have set up in New York Harbor a monstrous idol which you call Liberty. The only thing that remains to complete that monument is to put on its pedestal the inscription written by Dante on the gate of hell: All hope abandon ye who enter here.
Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.
Virtue is insufficient temptation.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
This comes of James teaching me to think for myself, and never to hold back out of fear of what other people may think of me. It works beautifully as long as I think the same things as he does.
A miracle is an event which creates faith. That is the purpose and nature of miracles. Frauds deceive. An event which creates faith does not deceive: therefore it is not a fraud, but a miracle.
Few of us have vitality enough to make any of our instincts imperious.
A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.
Morality is suspecting other people of not being legally married.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
An asylum for the sane would be empty in America.
An election is a moral horror, as bad as a battle except for the blood; a mud bath for every soul concerned in it.
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
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